Being A Father – My Core Rule & Value System

People who wade through the all the information online and have taken the time to get to know me will eventually discover that at my core is one simple question that governs the foundation of my life. This question is my guiding light or my true north as some would say. What I am about to share with you is not a goal or some line from a personal development course. This for me goes way beyond guidance, to me this is the reason I am able to be sharing this message with you now. I am sure at this point you are asking yourself what could be this core way of thinking be, have I heard it before and what if I were to implement this into my life? Well all of these are great questions and for the answer you need to wait a little longer, because I want you to know how this was instilled into my life.

My life was not one of ease, education, financial resources and sunday church. Without going into all the details my father helped me experience the greatest challenges and most significant lessons  of my life. My dad created so many physical, emotional, mental and some additional serious challenges in mine and my families life. He created poverty, homelessness and huge obstacles to overcome. People always ask why I consider this part of my life one of the most rewarding times. This will be easy for a few of you to understand and very complex for others to comprehend. I look at the situations my dad put our family through as the strengths I pull from when life throws me a challenge or places me through a tough lesson. Seeing the things my father did showed me that there’s never a time in life one should stop fighting forward.

This time in my life also contributes to the topic for my posting today. My dad sat the standard to everything a man should not be and to what a father should never put their children through. At the time my life was the most off track and when I found myself near the end of my rope my first daughter was born. Being only 17, involved with gangs, leaving school in 10th grade thinking I was the smart one. To say the least I was not starting with a good foundation or with any sort of a real value system.

Something happened when I held my oldest daughter for the first time. For those of you who believe in divine intervention this was mine. I felt a warm glow overcome my body and a voice whisper in my ear what I would live my life by moving forward: “If your child was watching you would they be proud of you in that moment?” I owe my life to my oldest daughter and I don’t think she even knows about this situation. I have three wonderful children now and each of them have contributed to my growth in different ways, however, all of them have contributed to my commitment to being the best father I can be.

I wish I could say I had the best role models, coaches, teachers or guides, however, to say this would be false. I have made many mistakes because I thought I could take on the world with the limited skills I had, mixed with a horrible attitude and so many things working against me. I found my direction because of this one simple value I was blessed with. This changed my life to be open to new values and skill sets. I learned to be humble, grateful, helpful, faithful, loving and most of all be someone your children would be proud to call their dad.


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